A Writer's 23rd Birthday Declaration
Today is my 23rd birthday. This is what my family calls the Psalm 23, LeBron James, and Michael Jordan year, a year of intentionality and transformation. Admittedly, I'm excited and scared. If 2020 taught me anything, it’s that I'm not always entitled to the plans I make in life and that even the most quotidian things shouldn't be taken for granted. Over these past couple of months, I have been sketching my next novel, drafting a couple of sections at a time. Right now, the novel has the working title Behold Azara’s Blaze. But if I'm being honest with myself, I haven’t been working on this next writing project in earnest. I’m nervous about entering into the creative process while establishing necessary boundaries for myself.
When I started writing The We and the They in 2019, it was a very hard year for me personally. I lost friends suddenly and struggled to say “no” to certain opportunities, spreading myself too thin. And then, 2020 was a devastating year for the whole world. In essence, I think that I haven't been working on Behold Azara’s Blaze because I'm afraid that my mind and my body will remember the labor pains of writing The We and the They coupled with the atmospheric violence of the time. I mean, I stressed myself out so much as I was writing The We and the They, my sleep schedule and my eczema- prone skin were at their absolute worst. Writing is hard. And as much as I want to always write from a place of rest, that isn’t how life works. To intensify matters, like The We and the They, Behold Azara’s Blaze isn't for the faint of heart. It's a story I want and need to tell, imbued with beauty and pain that I can't afford to shy away from. I can't pretend not to experience the labor pains of writing and creating, but I also need to be more intentional about allowing my body to rest. I need to allow periods of replenishment and to not wring myself out.
So today, on my 23rd birthday, I confess my fear of the pain that I may experience in writing. But you know what? I'm going to feel that fear and draft my next novel anyway because I also know that writing is something that brings me so much joy. It's been such an honor seeing how people have responded to The We and the They. There are few things in this world that make me happier than knowing somebody enjoys my work. I'm excited to see what this year has in store for me. And as we all are coming towards the end of a dark plaguing Great Famine-like time, by God’s grace alone, I think it's time for a renaissance.
